Saturday, August 20, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Things I learned on my Facebook vacation: A guide in case you choose to do the same...
So recently, I decided to take a break from my Facebook addiction long enough to finish writing my first feature-length script... Since I am such a FB junkie, I figured that the absence of this drug would give me the time and focus to finish the script. I'll preface this article by saying that I am now back on Facebook, but the script still isn't finished. That should tell you a little something about the power of the F book. So even though I failed at my goal, I did learn a few things... and I'd like to share them with you.
Three months off Facebook actually feels like six months.
Honestly, after the first two weeks, it's not so bad... You kinda get used to communicating with friends in other ways, and not documenting every single random thought that comes into your head. After about a month, you don't even miss it. After about two months, you're almost a normally functioning human being again- the only problem with that is, the only people who still act like that are people over 50, and non-conformists. It will start to wear on you. People will have conversations around you about that hilarious thing they just posted on their page that everybody read, but oh, you didn't read it, cus you weren't there. It's like Facebook is that party in high school that everybody went to, and had so much fun, but you didn't go, because of whatever excuse you could think of that day for not being social.It wasn't even like you weren't invited, cus you were, you just felt like being a loser. Everyone who's anyone is a social network junkie these days, so if you choose to stay out of the fray, you mostly end up feeling left behind.
But...
There are upsides! You start to appreciate other things in life, you know, those things that we used to spend our attention on before computers, like trees, and parks, and nature, and all that. You tell yourself, I don't need all that technology to function... I'm on a cleanse. A technology cleanse, if you will. This feels really awesome for a weeks- you notice that you're talking to more people in real life! You're not as standoffish as you usually are. You're enjoying conversations in real time, with people right in front of you! All of this is great, until...
That hot girl at work asks why didn't you come to her birthday party this weekend.
You say, but oh, wait, I didn't know you had a party! And she replies, well, I invited everyone on Facebook... Blast! So she ended up drunkenly hooking up with your other co-worker instead of you, because you know what? You weren't there. You were hanging out at the coffee shop holding conversations with "real people." Sucks, right? You didn't get to go to the party, but just remember this...
People who are only your friends on Facebook are not your real friends.
If you can remember this, it will buy you at least a few more weeks off Facebook without any feelings of loss. I did notice that I still hung out with my closest friends, without missing a beat. Your real friends will notice your absence and text you, call you, or e-mail you, something. It actually ends up being quite the litmus test, in case you needed one. It's nothing to take personal though, people are busy. But if you're a big schmoozer who likes to be out on the town, you will take a loss. People are usually not going to go the extra mile to dig up your e-mail address to invite you to some event. This is where Facebook has totally cornered the market. Outside of Evite, they make it the easiest way of keeping people informed about events that are going on. If you can deal with losing out on this, you're pretty much golden.
As far as social networking goes, Twitter has definitely made its presence felt.
Now, I'm not on Twitter, but one thing I have noticed every time I return from a Facebook vacation, is that the newsfeed activity declines more and more each time. Half the time I see status updates, it's through a twitter feed anyway. This is where facebook really lost out. Once the celebrities got behind Twitter, it was over. The activity that website generates is astronomical. Status updates are cool, but Tweets are king these days. I'm actually considering joining now because of all the respectable folk who are on it these days... (It's not just for the Hiltons and Kardashians anymore!) It's cool because it's like being friends with these celebs- they're sharing their thoughts with us just like we used to with our friends through status updates on FB. For me, it seems like FB has become a great place to share pictures, but beyond that, it's more like a glorified Yellow Pages these days. Which leads me to my last point...
In the end, Facebook should not be the end-all be-all of your social life.
Sure, it makes things much easier by bringing all your friends into one place, but I realize now that there is something lost with digital friendships. They're simply not like the real thing. They're not as substantial, and they're not as fulfilling. But it's best to not even look at it like that. Facebook seems like a great way to keep up with loose acquaintances, and people you miss from your past lives. But outside of that, don't you think it would be better to call your friend, or actually write a letter? It's the ease of Facebook that makes it seem less personal... A poke is never going to trump a phone call. bottom line.
So, in the end, what did we learn? Facebook is cool, and it's not probably not inherently evil, but don't spend your entire life on it... There are some things you might be missing out on- like true, human, interaction.
Three months off Facebook actually feels like six months.
Honestly, after the first two weeks, it's not so bad... You kinda get used to communicating with friends in other ways, and not documenting every single random thought that comes into your head. After about a month, you don't even miss it. After about two months, you're almost a normally functioning human being again- the only problem with that is, the only people who still act like that are people over 50, and non-conformists. It will start to wear on you. People will have conversations around you about that hilarious thing they just posted on their page that everybody read, but oh, you didn't read it, cus you weren't there. It's like Facebook is that party in high school that everybody went to, and had so much fun, but you didn't go, because of whatever excuse you could think of that day for not being social.It wasn't even like you weren't invited, cus you were, you just felt like being a loser. Everyone who's anyone is a social network junkie these days, so if you choose to stay out of the fray, you mostly end up feeling left behind.
But...
There are upsides! You start to appreciate other things in life, you know, those things that we used to spend our attention on before computers, like trees, and parks, and nature, and all that. You tell yourself, I don't need all that technology to function... I'm on a cleanse. A technology cleanse, if you will. This feels really awesome for a weeks- you notice that you're talking to more people in real life! You're not as standoffish as you usually are. You're enjoying conversations in real time, with people right in front of you! All of this is great, until...
That hot girl at work asks why didn't you come to her birthday party this weekend.
You say, but oh, wait, I didn't know you had a party! And she replies, well, I invited everyone on Facebook... Blast! So she ended up drunkenly hooking up with your other co-worker instead of you, because you know what? You weren't there. You were hanging out at the coffee shop holding conversations with "real people." Sucks, right? You didn't get to go to the party, but just remember this...
People who are only your friends on Facebook are not your real friends.
If you can remember this, it will buy you at least a few more weeks off Facebook without any feelings of loss. I did notice that I still hung out with my closest friends, without missing a beat. Your real friends will notice your absence and text you, call you, or e-mail you, something. It actually ends up being quite the litmus test, in case you needed one. It's nothing to take personal though, people are busy. But if you're a big schmoozer who likes to be out on the town, you will take a loss. People are usually not going to go the extra mile to dig up your e-mail address to invite you to some event. This is where Facebook has totally cornered the market. Outside of Evite, they make it the easiest way of keeping people informed about events that are going on. If you can deal with losing out on this, you're pretty much golden.
As far as social networking goes, Twitter has definitely made its presence felt.
Now, I'm not on Twitter, but one thing I have noticed every time I return from a Facebook vacation, is that the newsfeed activity declines more and more each time. Half the time I see status updates, it's through a twitter feed anyway. This is where facebook really lost out. Once the celebrities got behind Twitter, it was over. The activity that website generates is astronomical. Status updates are cool, but Tweets are king these days. I'm actually considering joining now because of all the respectable folk who are on it these days... (It's not just for the Hiltons and Kardashians anymore!) It's cool because it's like being friends with these celebs- they're sharing their thoughts with us just like we used to with our friends through status updates on FB. For me, it seems like FB has become a great place to share pictures, but beyond that, it's more like a glorified Yellow Pages these days. Which leads me to my last point...
In the end, Facebook should not be the end-all be-all of your social life.
Sure, it makes things much easier by bringing all your friends into one place, but I realize now that there is something lost with digital friendships. They're simply not like the real thing. They're not as substantial, and they're not as fulfilling. But it's best to not even look at it like that. Facebook seems like a great way to keep up with loose acquaintances, and people you miss from your past lives. But outside of that, don't you think it would be better to call your friend, or actually write a letter? It's the ease of Facebook that makes it seem less personal... A poke is never going to trump a phone call. bottom line.
So, in the end, what did we learn? Facebook is cool, and it's not probably not inherently evil, but don't spend your entire life on it... There are some things you might be missing out on- like true, human, interaction.
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