Film Critic

One of the first things I ever wanted to be was a film critic.
I used to watch Roger and Ebert all the time.
It seemed like the greatest job in the world-

You get to watch movies and films all the time,
picking out the good stuff,
pointing out the bad.

One of my favorite shows was The Critic,
voiced by Jon Lovitz.
Great show.

But these days, everyone has an opinion.
Everyone is a critic.
So how can you get paid for doing something everyone actually does?

Some of them are paid off.
We know this.
You ain't got to lie.

Everything is subjective,
and its hard to go off someone else's opinion.
So what's the point of critics?

To help save you money!
Find one you like-
like a friend.

You don't always agree with your friends-
and sometimes your friends lie,
But they usually have your back.

The more you get to know them,
the more they get to know you-
Sometimes if you're lucky, they'll even know what's best for you.

This is for the film critics out there.
I understand where you're coming from.
I salute you, but I am not, nor will ever be, a critic.

More power to you-
if you don't like what I have to offer, tell me why-
or don't.

I won't hate on your hustle,
and I'd appreciate it if you don't hate on mine.
And with that, let's begin the beautiful dance.